19 9 / 2014

Anonymous said: Why do you hate perks of being chinese...

sniffing:

She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Ashley Perks-of-being-chinese. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Ashley was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Ashley, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.

19 9 / 2014

captain-mochlum:

WARNING! VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

The FBI virus has now upgraded into real life. If you find it at your doorstop, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU TOUCH THE LINK or else the virus will be installed into yourself.

If you click it by accident, go to your doctor and install Malaware into yourself and do a scan. The virus will be INSTALLED INTO YOU and there will be no exit button and it will say you have to pay a fine to get rid of it. DO NOT PAY IT since it will not make it go away. 

To get rid of it, contact your doctor IMMEDIATELY and get it uninstalled from yourself. 

SIGNAL BOOST THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!

(via sniffing)

19 9 / 2014

fagcock:

Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat?

fagcock:

Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat?

(Source: jajaneenee, via tsarbucks)

18 9 / 2014

gameofchrons:

is this what having a penis is like 

image

(Source: hanukkahlewinsky, via guy)

18 9 / 2014

towritepoems:

my chemistry teacher calls babies “fresh humans”

(via distraction)

18 9 / 2014

whoslosing:

this is fucking hilarious

whoslosing:

this is fucking hilarious

(Source: my-funny-pics, via sobbingstar)

18 9 / 2014

easyay:

why is there an ewok in a grocery store

(Source: lolgifs.net, via ghostoat)

18 9 / 2014

relahvant:

relahvant:

i have lost my pants

someone help me find my pants

they have disappeared

poof

gone

pants where are you

i hope they’re okay

throwback to when i was drunk and wrote this poem because i couldn’t find my pants

(via i-want-cheese)

18 9 / 2014


My parents sent me a picture of their kitchen renovation

Is this a scene from Dexter?

My parents sent me a picture of their kitchen renovation

Is this a scene from Dexter?

(via bagelbrother)

18 9 / 2014

zedrin-maybe:

mooncastle721:

I almost spit grape juice!

I have saved this gif in my folder as ‘weight for it’

zedrin-maybe:

mooncastle721:

I almost spit grape juice!

I have saved this gif in my folder as ‘weight for it’

(Source: 4GIFs.com, via ruinedchildhood)